if i could do anything (a rant)

i have a lot of thoughts. intelligent ones. i just prefer not to do anything with them. so i keep them to myself. i barely speak. my commentary on life runs its course of narration in which i am the only audience. i'm not the main character in the story of my life. i'm an extra, a bystander. others may do as they please. as long as they leave me alone and allow me to watch, i am content.
if i were to be the leading lady in my story, i'd change the script. the director would find my mood swings difficult, my temperment impossible, myself altogether terrible to work with. i'd demand rewrites and new cast members. the supporting characters would never have existed, thus making the need for re-casting the roles unneccsary.
the entire show would take place in my bed. i'd lie there. there would be music playing, or the sound of rain. i would sleep away my life. the show would end. no applause, no cheering would follow the fall of the curtain. just blissful silence and wonderful nothingness.